Welcome to Riverview After Dork! On this blog Noah and Dave of When Harry Met Fatty podcasting fame occasionally review (via audio and textual means) the wondrous movies they see together at the Riverview Theater.
This week we chomp into Jurassic Park (1993)
Here's the trailer!
DAVE: I had the poster of this movie in my bedroom for several years. I stupidly used wallpaper paste on it and many other even dumber posters that hung around way too long. I think the poster was just of the T-Rex foot, stomping down. Yeesh.
But I do love dinosaurs! Because I'm a man. And I have a heart. And boy wasn't Jeff Goldblum a little firecracker in this film. And that blond girl was a good screamer-I bet she screamed her way to landing that part. I wonder how I could use screaming/loud shouting to further my career as a novelist.
NOAH:
1. First
rule of acting in a Spielberg movie: spare no expense when indicating your biggest expression of sheer wonderment.
2.
My humble, (and slightly biased), nerd opinion: it wasn't the CGI that
carried this picture, it was the sound design. You hear everything about
hour before you actually see it, and when you do see it, it's not for
very long.
3.Laura
Dern really knows how to drop into the pain and tortured psyche of a
plant paleontologist. "This palm frond shouldn't be here! It doesn't
know what century it's in and it's going to find lethal ways to
survive!"
4.
I forgot about all the slow exposition in this movie. It was kind of
quaint - it was like the dying gasp of a bygone era of blockbuster
filmmaking.
5.Why
did this Walt-Disney-in-white mogul invite a rockstar mathematician to
the island? It doesn't make any sense, yet I imagine Michael Crichton
writing this novel thinking, "I gotta get my viewpoints in here
somewhere....gosh, if I could be in this story, what would I be?
Hmmm...a devilishly handsome white Eddie Murphy? EUREKA!
"
6.
Someday I'm going to use that flea circus monologue John Hammond
delivers while eating melted ice cream. For what, I haven't a clue, but
it's happening.
7.Usually
I don't laugh too hard at the dated technology in movies, but the shot
of the scientist using virtual reality to find holes in the DNA sequence
he was building was pretty funny. The other funny moment was hearing
Dave snicker at the use of DOS in this movie. I had no idea
what that meant, but I think its just funny to hear your movie buddy
mutter "pshaw....DOS." next to you in a dark theater!
Dave Interviews Noah
1) So, Noah, the mighty dinos have roared again. What'd you think of Jurassic Park this time around?
I
was swept away...again! This movie still works and the crowd around us
screamed at most of the right moments. I got kind of depressed partway
through this movie because I remembered back when I used to have to deal
with the horses on my parent's farm and I would fantasize that I was
working in a Jurassic pony park, just to make the time go by a little
faster. Those were my Friday night lights...My Friday... Night... Lights.
2) Kill, marry, or fuck: Jeff Goldblum, Laura Dern, and Wayne Knight. As always, explain your
reasoning.
I would kill Jeff Goldblum, marry Laura Dern and make
love to Wayne Knight. My reasoning: any post coital pillow talk with
Jeff Goldblum would make me want to vomit my nervous system. I feel like
a romp with Wayne Knight would be so horrifying, that it would provide a
"factory reset" for my life. Plus he has quite a few crevices, which
would provide multiple options. And I know I wouldn't be married to
Laura Dern for long, because she would find a way to kill me in my sleep
with some crazy clone of an ancient venus flytrap. Nature finds a way.
3) If you ran an exotic park on an island and could
have anything on it via magical science (millions of Tom Cruise clones,
King Kong, etc.), what would you have?
I would have a park with clones of every person who was ever nice to me in my life and we
would do a take two on everything.
4) How does chaos theory apply to your own life?
Everyday
is so wonderful, then suddenly, it's hard to breathe. Now and then I
get insecure from all the roars, and pony chores....but I am DINOmite,
in every single way, astroids can't bring me down....I am DINOmite in
every single way, astroids can't bring me down...but if you bring me
down... I will make like a biiirrd..and evolve away!
5) What's your spirit dinosaur?
The 1987 band Was (Not Was). "Open the door, get on the floor, everybody walk the dinosaur!"
Final Thought: Wayne Knight once delivered Seinfeld's mail, but boy will he steal your heart!
NOTE: This blog is switching over to a more sporadic posts, so check in every month or so and we'll have something (maybe) to delight your brain!
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