First up is The NeverEnding Story, which we saw at the Riverview on June 14th.
DAVE: So I've loved this movie a long time. I wrote about how it inspired me as a writer here. I'm excited to do this summer film series blogcast (or whatever it is) but I'm worried I might eventually kill a noisy audience member one dark night. Until then, yay, freedom! And who the fuck brings an iPad to a movie at midnight on a Saturday?
My big thought this time around about The NeverEnding Story is that this time the horse death scene in the Swamps of Sadness made me laugh so hard warm tears came to my eyes. I believe it was what the ancient Greeks would call a catharsis.
NOAH: I was four when this movie was released, so I was living in a haunted house in South Mpls. I think I first encountered this on video or TV a couple years later, most likely at my white aunt and uncle's place in rural Wisconsin. They would copy VHS movies from the rental stores and my aunt was a big horror movie buff, so I remember growing up as a city kid but fearing the country because of all the horror movies I encountered there.
NOAH: I was four when this movie was released, so I was living in a haunted house in South Mpls. I think I first encountered this on video or TV a couple years later, most likely at my white aunt and uncle's place in rural Wisconsin. They would copy VHS movies from the rental stores and my aunt was a big horror movie buff, so I remember growing up as a city kid but fearing the country because of all the horror movies I encountered there.
-I
hate horses and I'm not a fantasy person. I remember being pissed off
at the weird bat-face dude and Lewis Carroll man in the beginning. This
movie tricks you...like Princess Bride, it hooks you with the modern
world and then fingers you with fantasy when you least expect it. Last
night the bat-face guy still annoyed me. Later in the movie they refer
to his bat creature as "stupid", but I disagree, I think the flying bat
creature was rather cute.
-I
remember being super jealous of Bastian's house and how nice and clean
it looked. Nothing like my house. Then again, his mom is dead, so tit
for tat.
-Why
does the rock biter push a steam roller? Wouldn't it crush the tastiest
rocks to sand before he had a chance to bite them? I think a pogo stick
with a jackhammer bit on the end would be more his speed.
-Glad to see Samuel Jackson finding work at the Ivory Tower!
-
Artax's death scene sadly doesn't hold up. I remember it being
tremendously sad as a kid and my dad having to explain that they had the
horse on an elevator that lowered it into the marsh. This time around,
it was a bit ham-fisted, with a side of ham.
-
Boy does Morla look like a prison penis. Holy prison-penis turtle head!
No turtle head should be that long. And BTW, the Sphinxes Gate he has
to pass through...Good Golly Miss Titty! I never noticed the nipple
detail on those gals. Astounding. Gotta love that combo of tits and
cloven feet. Like chocolate and peanut butter.
-The
Sphinxes gate sequence still holds up quite well, much more than I
remember it. Very suspenseful. I love it when kids movies get intense.
-
It was fun to see everyone in the audience (who were all pretty close
to our age) react to creepy Uncle Falcore. You could hear everyone
second-guessing their childhood at the same time.
-The
Southern Oracle statues were more modest, (no nipples), but they were
in need of some botox. Plus they were more unsettling, like the Grady
twins in The Shining.
- I used to have a huge crush on the Childlike Empress. However, now I realize that
I've been crushing on Fiona Apple's zygote stunt double, for all these years. I feel a little dirty.
-The
optical effects, however cheesy they may look, were rather comforting
to me this time around. Good ol' blue screen. It's the white noise of
my adulthood. Party on Wayne! Party on Garth!
DAVE INTERVIEWS NOAH
Dave: So what did you think of The NeverEnding Story this time around?NOAH: This movie felt longer as a child. I remember it looming big in the background of my youth, an epic movie filled with pockets of ponderous notions that I was too afraid (or bored) to grasp as a kid. I was surprised by how short it was this time around. The concept of "The nothing" still scares me. The narrative seemed pretty vague, meandering around in search of "nothing" in hopes that a human reader would stick with it long enough to save the story in the end. (Your move, J.K. Rowling!) All I know is that someday I hope I can sit on your gravestone and deliver the Rock biter's "these strong hands" monologue.
DAVE: That would be amazing. I'd fucking come back to life for that. So, what would YOU name the Childlike Empress?
NOAH: I would call her Betty and Betty when she calls me, she can call me Al.
DAVE: Who was your favorite Neverending character?
NOAH: I remember loving the rock biter a lot, as well as Morla the penis-face turtle, But this time around I'd have to say that the Southern Oracle takes the cake. Them's a rare pair of weird! That scene was edited in such an unsettling Kubrick-esque-like fashion. One character I came around on was G'mork, only because I discovered that he was just a middle manager for the story's true villain. Poor G'mork. He had a rough day at the office.
DAVE: These look like good, strong hands, don't they?
NOAH: "My hand are small I know, but they're not yours, they are my own... and I am never broken." - Jewel.
DAVE: Do you think we're all part of a Neverending story? Why or why not?
NOAH: The romantic part of me, the part of me that sat through Cloud Atlas twice, would like to think so. However, today I shelved a book in the children's library that detailed the work-lives of Chinese Children who were forced to build the Transcontinental Railroad back in 1862. They got a hefty paycheck of frostbite with an added bonus of death. No one remembers their story, and luckily, for their sake, it had an ending. But if you're a kid who is dealing with the loss of a parent, the concept of a neverending story is a comforting balm and I can't say "boo" to movie that asks us all to hang onto our imagination. Because what's the alternative? An empty kitchen with you, your dad and one tall glass of orange juice blended with raw egg. And math tests. Falcore? more like FAILcore!
FINAL THOUGHT: People who have given up on their hopes and dreams are easier to control. According to a furry badass named G'mork!
UP NEXT: Edward Scissorhands
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